...beautiful stranger

written by Luke White...(adbusters magazine)

On a recent trip to Central America, I was hugely impacted by Guatemala City's 40-acre trash dump. I wasn't shocked by the vultures, the stench or the hundreds of people crawling in and around it like ants.

What got me were the infections.

The first infection I saw was on a withered old Mayan woman, her sightless eyes pleading for any charity I might spare. She wasn't blind in the traditional sense; her right eye had grown into a swollen black gob of puss that pushed her nose across her face and squeezed the vision from her left eye.

After that I began to see them everywhere.

The acrid air kisses every nick and scratch with its poisoned lips. The wounds fester, swell and throb red around the edges. They leak and spit puss, the infection traveling inwards, deep into the bloodstream where it squeezes the organs. Ankles swell until lymph nodes pop and legs shrivel into crippled stems.

If the vultures could, they would sing.

People working in the dump like to get right next to the dump trucks, where civilization's freshly unloaded burden sinks and pops beneath their feet. They work with bare hands, wearing discorded sneakers and blasting found radios. They hack and cough as lungs gargle with the gaping holes and scars of irreparable abuse. Old women set up ragged beach chairs amidst the stinking mess. They sit back and survey their horrid world, laughing out loud through empty gums.


Dear beautiful stranger,

There is a weight that builds in my stomach when I hear about the life you lead. I can't help but to feel sorry, sad, and helpless towards your situation. There are so many places I want you to see, people I want you to meet, and restaurants I want you to dine in. I wish that I could take all of your clothes and put them in our washer and dryer. I want to give you gift cards to a spa, a body store, or to Target so you can see who you can truly be. I want to take you to a dentist and have him work on your mouth so that you have bright white teeth again. I want to give you everything that is available to me here in the US of A.

......

Who am I kidding, what I crave for you is so much deeper than clean 'looking' things, lots of stuff made by people I don't know, and facebook. I want you to be happy. I want you to be pain-free. I want you to know that God loves you. I want you to know that I also understand the pain you feel, the sickness you endure, and the wounds you develop. The difference is that my pain, my sickness, and my wounds come from the inside. They come from a long storm of selfishness that breeds from uncountable amounts of possession, success, and outward beauty.

......

I am jealous of your smile.
I am curious of your external struggle to survive.
I am envious of your relationships with the people you love and live with.

Did you know that your smile is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen?

......

Stay strong stranger,

- Jonathon

get involved:

http://www.safepassage.org/

God is here.

"...We all finished our request to God and my next sensation was beyond the words of the world. A vibration shot from the top of my head to the bottom of my feet, like a current of pure truth pushing out the old Peter and putting in a new me. It still seemed too simple. But I felt clearer, cleaner and different from ever before in my life. Something transforming had happened to me here..."

-Peter Jenkins, A Walk Across America

Happy Easter

He is with us.

risk taking is free...

to laugh is to risk appearing the fool
to weep is to risk appearing sentimental
to reach out for another is to risk involvement
to expose feelings is to risk esposing your true self
to place your ideas, your dreams before the crowd is to risk their loss
to love is to risk not being loved in return
to live is to risk dying
to hope is to risk despair
to try is to risk failure,

But risk must be taken, because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.
The person who risks nothing, does nothing, has nothing, and is nothing.
He may avoid suffering and sorrow, but he simply cannot learn, feel, change, grow, love, live.
Chaired by his certitudes, he is a slave, he has forfeited freedom.
Only a person who risks.....is free.

- Author unknown

The Curious City

How do activities and terms like clean & trendy, open-lofts, morning-lattes, happy-hours, and fashion seasons get into our system?

Do we choose these investments?
Are they all good? Are they bad? Do we ask ourselves 'why'?


Urban Thoughts:

I will always enjoy the sight of my future in a large condo with clean walls and open space all while happily entertaining the thought of my slippers, bean bag, and art-deco sky chair. This would also include frequent visits to the local art galleries to fill my artistic voids in hopes to become increasingly inspired to extpress my own line of artwork. The small bakeries and coffee shops would strangle my senses and remind me to briefly slow down to have a small treat. This pause in my routine would have me glancing at others with strange arousal in the sight of a reciprocated enjoyment of coffee and pastries, thus feeding my daily stock of unspoken local community.

Is this it though? Is the potential idol of routine the point to why I need my coffee break? My work-out? My new outfit?

Balance:

Can we get to the place where the things we purchase and the possessions we hoard become a part of the greater community?... as well as embracing and finding joy in the fruit and purchase of prized goods as a result of hard-work and investment?

This collection of thoughts is the product of a short 4 day trip to Portland, Oregon. I enjoyed this place and the people I connected with. I hope to explore much more of what I call 'The Curious City' sooner than later. There is an unspoken mystery to Portland, and any city for that matter... that I can't articulate. What Portland offers is growing and special to those fortunate to be closely involved. With what seemed to be a haze following many of the locals, I also felt an emerging generation of optimism and creativity. I left inspired.

“I count him braver who overcomes his desires than him who conquers his enemies; for the hardest victory is over self.”

-Aristotle

"to the Irish"

Ah, a wee bit conflicted on this great day...

I am challenged with the task of balancing the great "American" celebration of St. Patrick into my rich memory of my time living in Ireland.

Ireland not only taught me about St. Patrick's incredible faith and path in seeing freedom for the Irish, but I experienced the warmth and community from the Irish families at levels that can never be touched.

I miss the long nights of traditional Irish music, laughter, and story telling in the living room of the Donnelly house.

I crave to watch the young Irish students run around town in their uniforms and jumpers.

I hold onto the rich green colors that consumed my attention in our windy travels on the beaten paths.

The soft but radiant chant of Emma and the deep searching in the hearts of my Galway youth group fly with me today more than usual.

I miss you Ireland and I recommend to anyone and everyone that when/if they get to see this great country: slow down and learn as much as you can from the Irish and the way they choose to live. It will change you!

Happy St. Patrick's day!

"So here's to you and yours and mine and ours. If mine and ours ever come across you and yours, I pray that you and yours will be as kind to mine and ours as mine and ours have been to you and yours!"

...success

To laugh often and much;

To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children;

To earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends;

To appreciate beauty, to find the best in others;

To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition;

To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived.

This is to have succeeded.

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

... ...

I just got off the phone with my mother. With whom btw...is an incredible woman who has so naturally given much of her life to others...

We laughed and reflected on the "routine" of modern day living for half an hour.

Can we trust our guts...when we feel like life is "flying-by"...?
Do we have what it takes to burn our schedule to get our spark back?

Jesus.

I build my values on his teachings. He asks us to lay everything down that would drive us further from love (for others and our self)...

What is good and what is bad?

Too much time and energy has gone into this question...regarding our choices...our dreams...our values...our thoughts...etc.

I ask you - & I ask myself to lay down the idea of Good and Bad...put it down...wrap it up. and throw it out.

we are called to live.
We are called to enjoy.
We are called to give.
...and ultimately we are called to something so much bigger than our eyes, ears, and noses can muster up.

Relax - be more present in your relationships - and trust...

empty stares

Why don't you talk to me?

I asked you how your day was.

I looked at you twice...and,

I even turned over a bit to allow...ah

I am sitting right next to you. You must be busy, or thinking about something important.

I have no interest in dating you... I am simply wanting to share this space - this time - this moment with you.

I sat there once.

What is going through the window that is more exciting than what I could share with you...

I have an exciting life. I have good stories.

I would love to hear yours.

Your busy. I know.

I guess that means that I should be busy too.

I do exist though.

I will wait another day for you to say hi to me.

you are worth it.



-j stallz

perservere...!

"Life is not easy for any of us. But what of that? We must have perseverance and above all confidence in ourselves. We must believe that we are gifted for something, and that this thing, at whatever cost, must be attained.”

- Marie Curie quotes (French Physicist, twice winner of the Nobel Prize, 1867-1934)

Ah, 2009 - I am embraced and filled with an exhilerating energy to be thankful, confident, and hopeful for today and the short future in front of me.

As I sift through my unique collection of pictures, cards, and notes of my past, I am quickly reminded of my deep conflict between pleasing others around me vs. living for joy and movement in transparency, love, and faith.

We do hold the power to turn our life onto a narrow path.

This narrow path may seem lonely, dangerous, intimidating, hard, and unknown....but, when you stop to actually see what your walking on, you become mesmerized by what you have just endured...and your eyes become wide and open with what is yet to come.

Thank you God for this week, for today, and for each day to come.

gratitude

"Gratitude helps you to grow and expand; gratitude brings joy and laughter into your life and into the lives of all those around you.”

- Eileen Caddy

I am so thankful to my friends and family!

They complete every step I take in this walk of life.

untitled...

love walks beside you
...and has nothing to say

love sits across from you
...and looks the other way

all it wants is freedom
...but in another way

you pretend everything
...is okay


my life's bleeding before you
...are you there?

ive rolled in the night with you
...were you there?

love is a raging river
...its not always fair


how do we let someone cover our sun?

how do we easily give all we've become?


i want to run
i want to run

from all that love has done

to follow a new moon
and to chase the living "son".


- Jonathon Stalls - 1/31/2009

a new day

"We must look for ways to be an active force in our own lives.
We must take charge of our own destinies, design a life of substance
and truly begin to live our dreams."

- Les Brown

...one of many to come: "into the wild" inspirationz

"Now what is history? It is the centuries of systematic explorations of the riddle of death, with a view to overcoming death. That's why people discover mathematical infinity and electromagnetic waves, that's why they write symphonies. Now, you can't advance in this direction without a certain faith. You can't make such discoveries without spiritual equipment. And the basic elements of this equipment are in the Gospels. What are they? To begin with, love of one's neighbor, which is the supreme form of vital energy. Once it fills the heart of man it has to overflow and spend itself. And then the two basic ideals of modern man - without them he is unthinkable - the idea of free personality and the idea of life as sacrifice."

- Boris Pasterniak, Doctor Zhivago
- Into the Wild, Jon Krakauer

uNiTy?

I attended a Sunday morning service with my family this past weekend in Augusta, Georgia. The message was "unity". I have heard this word in Church often and very recently have spent a lot of time meditating on what that looks like in my life.

The hope for, belief in, and reflect on memories of when unity was strong in my life.

I am quickly reminded of my past when I see how my 13 year old brother reacts to a lack of "unity" within our family. I love my family and I value who they are in my life deeply. That said, I am not afraid to admit to the dramatic pits of alienation and negativity caused by the flaws that surround us as broken people. In fact, I am all too quickly consumed with my own inability to confront, express, and work through my own cravings and frustrations with unity in my life.

There is a dark storm brewing inside my heart and my ability to trust. It comes from an energy that I have learned to be the product of isolation and fear. I can get on my knees and ask Jesus for strength all day. This may help to get through moments of intense frustration, however, I know the storm will find me again. Am I prepared for its wrath?

I strongly feel as a man of faith that I cannot take on this battle alone. I cannot control this storm. I have a bag of wounds that will weigh down my spirit if I allow them to. Not only will I be useless and weak, but I will slowly shut down the people I care about the most in my life.

For if I fail to act, I sense this storm will turn me against them.

As I meditate on this topic of unity I search my soul for the strength to fight for it. To be free and to be strong against the storm that tries to bury us in our dirt. I must surround myself with "like-minded believers". I need them. I need to pray with them. I need to share with them. I need to care for them. I need them to care for me. That is Church. That is help. That is the "good fight".

Unity. Together. Brothers and Sisters.

Please walk WITH me, as I want nothing more then to walk WITH you!

they are for me

The Gods' aren't angry...(title of a movie made by Mars Hill Church pastor, Rob Bell)

I sat with two great friends today and talked about life, dreams, and Jesus. How great are the moments when forces collide to discuss the pursuit of happiness, security, goals, and/or survival? Where do we get the strength to accept how unique we are? Where do we find hope amongst our growing lack of satisfaction?

Binding and Loosing is a term used by Rob Bell when describing the act of interpreting and better understanding the Bible for TODAY. As scripture has always pointed out: We are fighting a battle. This battle is against ourselves and our greatest allies "fear and pride". Today, freedom is sold, marketed, and tacked onto our cars with temporary stick. I watch movies such as "Into the West, Braveheart, and Dances with Wolves" and I am confronted with a pulse of freedom I have yet to fully understand. Will Barack Obama really "save" our nation? What kind of pressure are we putting on someone who bleeds just like you and I? This man has cried. This man has wounds. What kind of freedom are we seeking from this supposed "super" human? I am hopeful for change and I am excited for the new doors Obama will lead us through, however I am not content with placing my idea of freedom in someone whose insides look and feel similar to mine.

I have been every number on the "Christianity" scale (1 - being no interest and 10 - being sold out). I know what it is like to doubt and dismiss God. I know what it is like to be simply comforted by his presence...and I also know what it is like to be on my knees in honest faith and relationship with God. In my 26 years The Bible has taught me a lot. Binding and Loosing the words that were written to bring truth and meaning to life have been and will always be a part of my journey. Stretching and challenging the frequently translated original Hebrew text allows me to endure this narrow road towards inner peace.

Noise, law, religion, judgement, difference, class, and accolades will continue to flood the gates on this tiresome trek.

Can I turn off the noise, understand the law, face religion, avoid judgement, accept difference, destroy "class", and ignore the accolades?

I think I can try. "The Gods' Aren't Angry". They are for me.

...love in family

"Be sheperds of God's flock that is under your care, serving as overseers - not because you must, but because you are willing, as God wants you to be; not greedy for money, but eager to serve; not lording it over those intrusted to you, but being examples to the flock."

(1 Peter 5:2,3)

I am so unbelievably thankful for the people in my life. I can't express how valuable it is to be present and open with the people you love.

Life is beautiful and full when you gather up the strength to step outside of yourself. I can toss, turn, dig, and dwell for so long in my mind. It is as if once I am there....the prison bars come flying in and lock me down. This mental bondage of stress and anxiety is no act of love.

I am a strong, couragous, passionate, loving, and faithful person. My weaknesses keep me humble and my strengths keep me going.

"Search me o'God and know my heart, test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting"

(psalms 139:23,24)

the good consumer...?

okay. so I know I might appear to be the super "anti-consumer" with a lot of the information I post on here...

I sit in humility to the reality that I purchase all the time...I buy into the branding...and I buy things that I want.

that said....videos like the one shown at the bottom are not recommended to cast guilt, fear, or hatred towards capitalism...they are merely avenues in pursuit of reflection and/or challenge.

I think its important to check-in on capitalism.. to check-in with our values.. and to ultimately create a stronger awareness for what is good and what isn't.....

personally, I measure my morality to that of Jesus....thus, my questioning and frustration with our purchasing power rests in one question...

"does love, grace, peace, and forgiveness play a part in my spending?"

check out this video..its good.

http://www.adbusters.org/abtv/good_consumer.html

bUy nOthing Day - nOvemBeR 28th - 2008

Yo people.

...interesting concept. i love it.

check out this video my sister sent me:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-zNwWrtVoCI

...good

"Sometimes, when I just want to quietly relax (but not necessarily be alone), I visit the old folks' home. I go to Ethel's room, and we sit together in silence for hours doing crossword puzzles. Ethel never bothers me because she's deaf.

We appreciate each other's presence. To her, I'm finally someone who isn't attempting a verbal conversation; who doesn't shy away when I can't understand her hand gestures. I can't imagine how worn out and lonely she must get, attempting to get messages and words across to people, attempting to communicate for the sake of some kind of human interaction.

And for me, she's someone who I can sit in comfortable silence with, without having to worry about what to say, or what questions I should ask, or creating an awkward silence. Someone I can have a silent conversation with by sharing air and passing time.

It's a form of human interaction in which both parties benefit and neither has to exhaust themselves due to a disability for the sake of not feeling alone. It's the beauty of understanding and being understood.

I've learned that sometimes the best kind of communication is just sitting next to someone and listening to them breathe."

- Eugenia Jobst

What an incredible collection of thoughts.

I crave presence with people.....words are great, questions are powerful, and conversation is beautiful; however,...sometimes there is nothing more peaceful than simply the beat of someone's heart or the brush of their breathe.

"The most important kind of freedom is to be what you really are.

You trade in your reality for a role.
You trade in your sense for an act.
You give up your ability to feel, and in exchange, put on a mask.

There can't be any large-scale revolution until there's a personal revolution,
on an individual level.

It's got to happen inside first.

You can take away a man's political freedom and you won't hurt him -
unless you take away his freedom to feel.

That can destroy him.

That kind of freedom can't be granted.

Nobody can win it for you."


- Jim Morrison

...love pains

“I must learn to love the fool in me - the one who feels too much, talks too much, takes too many chances, wins sometimes and loses often, lacks self-control, loves and hates, hurts and gets hurt, promises and breaks promises, laughs and cries”

-Theodore Isaac Rubin

unique

vibrant color.

i often feel strange. i often feel out of place.

i crave to share this world with someone who can taste the color of every moment.

what is the meaning of this bright color?

what can i learn from its blinding strike into my eye?

i feel the pulse in my veins.

im living. breathing. dreaming.

...go

Walt Whitman - Poet

Im doing a project for a college course on a couple poems by this great man. Check em out, and if you have time: browse his website:

http://www.whitmanarchive.org/

These are beautiful...

To You
http://classiclit.about.com/library/bl-etexts/wwhitman/bl-ww-toyouwho.htm

We Two Boys Together Clinging
http://classiclit.about.com/library/bl-etexts/wwhitman/bl-ww-boyscling.htm

Song of the Open Road
http://classiclit.about.com/library/bl-etexts/wwhitman/bl-ww-openroad.htm

Political Accountability - a must.

If you get the time...check this website out. It helps to adjust the bias we so easily take in regarding our desire to understand politics: www.factcheck.org

Honduras...

the beauty of Honduras and the crust of Central America that surrounds it is astonishing. this place is flooding with lush forest and rich soil. i stepped off the plane and became quickly swallowed by the fog and haze of the drastic humidity in San Pedro Sula. Hector and his brother "Walter" graciously picked me up at the airport after a 2 hour delay in customs.

from romping in the rain forest, laughing with the Soto family, and tasting the surface of Honduras's deep culture; i felt taller, wider, and clearer in thought upon my return to the US.

the people in this world are so unique. they are products of something i can only brush my finger on.

joy is complex.

perspective is priceless.

learning Spanish is a must!

Muchas Gracias Honduras

There are a few more pics under fot-oze on the linx box to the right!

Oriah Mountain Dreamer

What you become is infinitely more important than what you do, or what you have. It doesn't matter to me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.

It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dreams, for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring in your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shriveled and closed for fear of further pain, mine or your own; if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstacy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes withouth coutioning us to be careful, to be realistic, or to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul. I want know if you can be faithful and therefore be trustworthy. I want to know if you can see the beauty even when it is not pretty every day, and if you can source your life from its presence. I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand on the edge of a lake and shout to the sliver of the moon, "YES!"

It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up after a night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done for the children. It doesn't interest me who you are, or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.

It doesn't interest me where or what or with whome you have studied. I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away. I want to know if you can be alone with yourself, and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.

- Oriah Mountain Dreamer, Indian Elder

Castle Peak : Perfect

Yesterday at around 1pm my friend Phil, his tired dog, and myself approached the rounded peak of Castle Mountain.

My first 14er climb in Colorado was full of scabbing falls, mysterious detours, adventurous glacading, and exhilarating views.

Castle Mountain: 14,265 ft. in the heart of the Elk Range.

Ahhh the mountains.

I'm addicted.

do you have 3 hours? or 15 minutes?

If you have values, morals, and a measure of desire to stimulate those:

Watch this movie.

If you can't watch the whole thing, at least try and get 15 minutes worth!

Would love to hear your thoughts...

Below is a link to watch it online for free

PART ONE
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-3969792790081230711

PART TWO
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=7365345393244917682&q=&hl=en

sometimes the feeling to run away hovers over me like a cartoon rain cloud.

should i?

could i?

where would i go?

how would i get there?

who would i tell?

what am i looking for?

what will i find?

what will i learn?

trusting in God can be so hard. to look to him and his strength when nothing else makes sense.

ahhh, the joys of venting to a blog.

Hold me Father as I tread in the quicksand of "pressure to be".